OLD BLOG

A week after we found out our news, we had another ultra sound with my Doctor. The picture was so sad this time. There weren't heartbeats anymore. It was impossible to really tell what happened, so our Doctor encouraged us to keep our appointment with the Perinatologist to see if he had something to say. Unfortunately by the time we got there, things were changing so much there wasn't going to be anything to see. He said that he agreed that what we were seeing was the bladder, but he was confused at the idea that it would have caused a problem so fatal for the both of them. He has never seen that before. He suggested that the best way to try and find any answers was to see them from the outside and run a few tests. That's when we decided that being induced was going to be our best option.

I went into the hospital the next day. I can't give you any specific names of the drugs they used, mostly because I don't know how to spell them. They didn't use the regular drugs to induce labor because I was at a different stage in my pregnancy and my body wouldn't have responded. I had pills that would dissolve and enter my blood stream. We started by keeping them in my mouth. This got my body going pretty speedy and with in six hours, my water had broken. On the down side over the next 12 hours the pills did not dissolve, thus the labor stopped. By the time they figured that out and tried again, it was like having to start over. Because my water broke really early on, they had to watch me very carefully, and after a while were very concerned because it was coming to the point of danger because I wasn't progressing and I can't just let my body sit in that state forever. I have never prayed so hard in my life for something to happen so I would be able to see and hold my babies.

After 36 long hours of labor, the Lord blessed me and I gave birth to my twin boys at 6:30 Monday morning. They came seconds apart. However my placenta didn't because my cervix closed and pinched the placenta in half causing me to bleed almost uncontrollably. They rushed me back for a DNC to clean me out and in an hour I came back to my two beautiful children. Some volunteers came from the hospital with group called Share Parents and took tender pictures for me to keep and gave me a few things to keep in a box to hold as a memory. I got to hold them for several hours.. I ache to hold my children again. I now understand what that is when people say it. It's imaginable but no one will understand fully unless it has happened to them. Oddly I am not bitter about anything having to do with babies, not having them and such. I am sad and at peace that everything is as it was intended. I am forever humbled. I hope this change of heart is helpful in some way of making me worthy of another of Heavenly Father's children. We are lucky, and the Lord must see something special in Jack and I to have assigned us two special spirits right off the bat. I am in awe. We are still waiting to find any results, but until then I am up for questions. Please email them to me, as responding to comments is not something I am comfortable with.